The Shattered and Afraid
by Gabriel-the-Archangel-SPN
Summary: After Gabriel's death in 2010 he returns 4 years later, after mysteriously dropping out of purgatory. He is haunted by memories and nightmares, he has one other problem he's human and forgets that he can't heal his emotional or physical wounds. I don't own, the characters or show.
1. Chapter 1: New Beginnings

_**A/N- this is the first fanfiction I have posted here. Revolves around Castiel and Gabriel. Hurt!Gabriel**_

**_i don't own anything related to supernatural and it's charaters. ALL CHAPTERS ARE BEING REEDITED_**

Bright lights covered the northern skyline, as a figure walked from the what appeared to others as a lightning strike. Gabriel stumbled forward multiple feet before tripping over his own feet.

He spent most of his life doing three things; tricking people, hiding, and eating anything with sugar in it. He could do none of those things now. He was in every way human, though he didn't know why, he figured it was because of those damned Winchester's that got him killed in the first place.

With a burning pain in his side, he still had to resort to walking through the dreadfully dark forest. He sighed, knowing the day light would be useful, but it would be hours before he saw it again. Purgatory was never night nor day, just dark cloud cover.

He hadn't even stopped to be thankful he made it out alive. He just started walking, the wet branches snapping with each step. He was sure the crackling of breaking leaves was going to be a irritation to him soon. Even though walking truly wasn't much effort, he was used to the unlimited power of being The Trickster and the 4th Archangel.

As much as he wanted to plop down on the ground cry and whine, he just couldn't. He was free, but not safe. 4 years of battling the leviathans and ugly looking monsters and he was free. Though there was one year, where all the souls kind of just disappeared for a few weeks. But those three weeks, that was the only time he was safe.

He was helpless, human, and tired. He wondered how far the forest went, but it's a forest, probably would take him awhile. He lost track of time and before The Archangel knew it the sun was peaking threw the trees, lighting up the wet forest floor. The sun reflecting off the water; creating an almost blinding shine.

He got a good look at his arms. His once navy green, and very clean jacket, was covered in the blood, grass stains, and dirt. The shade of green Gabriel had come to adore was now hardly visible.

Looking over the hill he stood atop of, he could make out the small country town. With his remaining energy he walked towards the town, and to a convenience store. Trying hard not to raise suspicion he shed his jacket and stuffed it into a large trash bin before heading in. With the little money he carried around he picked up a bag of potato chips, and a metal refillable water bottle.

He walked up to the counter, he just set his stuff down and didn't look up. Trying hard not to let anyone see how badly his face had been scratched. The cashier didn't even touch his things just stared at him. He got irritated and whipped his head up, only to be faced with his younger brother. He smiled brightly at his brother, who was obviously in as much shock as him.

"Brother?"

"Cassie."


	2. Chapter 2: Where have you been?

**A/N- I'm new to writing fanfiction on here. Anyways, this story kinda of focuses on Gabriel and Castiels bond. With some Hurt!Upset!Gabriel... So enjoy, reviews always appreciated!**

**Disclaimer- I don't own**

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine-" he took notice of Castiel's name tag, "Steve."

Cas laughed a little with him, before switching back to his serious face.

"Where have you been, Gabriel?" He asked with unmasked concern.

"...Purgatory..."

He and Castiel had always been close. Gabriel being a protective older brother had raised Castiel. Much like the relationship between the Winchester Brothers; Castiel had always looked up to Gabriel, he was a hero in his eyes, up until he ditched him and left him alone and surrounded by unknown siblings.

It took thousands of years for them to see eye to eye. But now they both wanted the same thing, freedom. They both loved the same thing, humanity. Gabriel was always fond of when he was reminded of the days raising Cas as a fledgling. Even now he still had his beautiful electric blue eyes that had melted Gabriel's heart at first sight.

Castiel had always been the younger angel, naive and stubborn. Like a rebel teenager in the other angels eyes. But in Gabriel's he was just Cas, his younger brother who loved his family, but hated their choices, and Gabriel full on agreed. Castiel rang up The Tricksters stuff before speaking again. He pulled out a used torn paper and scribbled a address on the back. He handed it to Gabriel along with his chips and bottle.

"That's my cabin, it's not too far from here, I'll meet you there around 2, that's when my shift ends"

Gabriel almost had to laugh, he never thought Cas would take human work (other than hunting) serious. But he just nodded and started his walk towards his brothers home. On the way passed a park he stopped and filed up the water. He was grateful for the taste, fresh water had been scarce and it was always a battle for.

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><p><em>He ran as fast as he could. The cut on his leg wasn't helping. The vampires were closing in on him. He didn't know where he was...that was until the vamps started chasing, and he tripped. After another tiring 20 minutes of running he was sure he lost them. He had time to finally sit down and think for a minute.<em>

_Was that how he was viewed? A monster?_

_There were many times in his life when he thought that he should stop and sob. This was one, he knew there was a slim chance of anyone rescuing him, so he pulled him rusted blade from inside his jacket and began fighting for his "life."_

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><p>Gabriel shuddered at the thought. A monster. God he hated that word. It was said almost with stickiness. He saw the cabin before it saw him; he picked up his pace, excited for a warm bed and some food. He bounded up the steps to the door; surprised to find it unlocked.<p>

The cabin wasn't much; a kitchen and a small living room which held a few book cases and a couch, then a bathroom and a bedroom. The bedroom was a mess, bloody ties, and dress shirts thrown in a corner. Cas' angel blade was sitting on his nightstand, just underneath the lamp light. Gabriel was also surprised to find a dirtied and lightly burned photo in a frame also by his bed.

The photo included who he knew as Bobby, Dean, Sam, Joanna, Ellen, and of course Castiel.

He smirked a little but that changed when Cas was standing beside him. Castiel looked at him with extreme concern.

"Cas, aren't you busy running around with those hunters?"

"No, they lost interest I'm me, but i shall let them know you have returned."

"Cas you mind if a borrow some sweats, just something till I can get this crap washed?"

"Yeah, of course, third drawer down on the left."

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><p>Dean sat on the edge of his bed, Cas had called and left a voice message, he just wasn't sure if he was ready to hear it. But horrible thoughts of Cas in danger filled his mind, and he flipped open his phone.<p>

"Dean it's Gabriel... He's alive." The phone let out a long beep signaling the message had ended.

Unbearable guilt flooded over Dean. He had met Gabriel in purgatory, and had offered to bring him along, even when The Trickster saved his life when a werewolf almost snagged him. Gabriel had helped Benny lead him and Cas to the portal out. He remembered Gabe standing there with a straight face masking fear.

He never told Sam nor Cas about it. Well Cas knew, but he wouldn't talk about it. He had to see Gabriel, after all 4 years of kickin' the crap out of bad souls probably wore him and scared him beyond repair. He grabbed his father's old marine jacket and fled through his bedroom door towards the meeting room.

Sam had his feet propped up on the table, and a another one of those damned men of letters journals in his hands.

"Come on, Samantha Cas is waitin' on us."

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><p>With clean clothes a nice shower, warm food, a soft couch, Gabriel was out like a light. Castiel watched him with curiosity the former Archangel was lying in a fetal position, and twitching in his sleep, Castiel knew it was probably a nightmare but his older brother would deny it if Castiel woke him.<p>

Gabriel's Caramel colored soft hair was sticking out in all directions. Castiel thought he looked younger in his sleep. His hazel eyes weren't intensely staring at Castiel; the older angel always had the expression of being afraid, and extremely pissed off. Without seeing the eyes, Gabriel looked calm and finally at peace.

Castiel shed his Trench coat and tie as he walked down the hall towards his bedroom. He pulled over the covers and slid into bed welcoming what his new human self-needed. Sleep.

He awoke early extremely confused to find his brother had wandered into Cas' room and slept beside him.

He felt another presence in the cabin. He sniffed the air, he knew that smell, the smell of fresh, heavy Cologne, and leather; that the one and only Dean Winchester wore. He slid out of bed careful not to wake his brother who was snoring loudly. Dean was napping on the couch, and Sam had fell asleep reading Castiel's book on demons.

One more step forwards and the older Winchester was fully awake and sitting up. Dean looked worried, and guilty. Castiel didn't have to think far back to know what about.

"Cas, sorry he was kind of whimpering in his sleep so I moved him next to you."

"It's fine; purgatory will do that to you."

"I got to help him Cas, after what I did to him. I have to make it up to him."

"Dean, he's fin-" Castiel stopped himself when he heard a crash come from the bedroom.

This yanked Sam awake and the three men were running to help the other. Gabriel was doubled over on the floor holding his side, puking up dangerous amounts of blood. Dean going into 'brother mode' rubbed his back. If Gabriel could notice he'd probably turn around and punch him. He winced when Dean removed Gabriel's hand from his side and replaced it with is.

Dean could feel the wetness under the shirt; Blood. Dean's mind started screaming at him. How had Gabriel managed to stay alive for 2 days straight bleeding a bus. Dean grabbed one of Cas' many ties and tied it around Gabriel's waist, and began his mad dash for the first aid kit.

He returned a few moments later and dropped to the floor beside Gabriel, who he managed to get to lay flat while he did what he needed to do. He pulled out what he needed; floss, a needle, alcohol, holy water, and a bandage. The process what slow and agonizing, the former angel had passed out somehow in the middle.

When Dean was finished not only was the floor was covered in blood, but himself.


	3. Chapter 3: Save me?

**A/N- I've actually been writing this story over the week, so I'm posting things pretty quickly. Anyways,**

**Disclaimer- I don't own.**

_Gabriel heard the crunching of leaves and with his rusted angel blade in hand nearly took deans head off. The quick reacting hunter had Gabriel's hands pinned behind his back, and his blade thrown aside._

_"Gabriel?"_

_"Hell-ooooo Dean-o!"_

_"It's nice to see a familiar face man."_

_Dean released Gabriel and knelt down to pick back up the blade. "So, Dean-o, what'd you turn into this time."_

_"Long story, anyways, you sure look like shit."_

_"I've died about 8 times today, so yeah maybe I'm a little dirty. My favorite death today was being mauled by a hellhound."_

_Dean shuddered at the thought of Gabriel screaming for his life while being torn up by a rabid dog. Gabriel's once expensive coat was nothing but a rag with sleeves. Gabriel's dark green almost brown eyes were red and heavy. His usually neatly combed hair had grown long and greasy, it was thrown in all directions._

_"Come on Dean, let's go."_

_"Alright Cas, come on Benny, I'm bringing Gabe with."_

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><p>Gabriel opened his eyes, everything was blurry and hard to see. His brain wasn't functioning right, and he couldn't think straight. He blindly reached out for Cas' arm and tugged him forwards so he was leaning over Gabriel.<p>

"Cassie, am I dying?" He asked.

Castiel was seriously confused. Gabriel's voice was raspy and deep. His mind was foggy from the many pain killers Dean kept feeding him. Gabriel was getting incredibly annoyed the drugs were messing with his mind and he just wanted to see his little brother clear; his little brother who played in the Garden of Eden, and ran through the heavens of others.

His brother, who would come to him when he was afraid; the little fledging who only wanted to follow orders; his brother who only loved humanity and himself. That was Gabriel's only coherent thought was his little brother before he fell back asleep.

"Cas, stopped eating Eve's apple, that's for later!"

Castiel tilted his head at Gabriel who after that sentence fell back asleep. He laughed at the fond memory. He was only a few thousand years old and Gabriel had taken him to The Garden of Eden to run and learn how to fly. But the day certainly didn't end that way. He had taken a bite out of Eve's apple, and Gabriel was furious.

Luckily the Archangels magic was enough to restore the apple, and place it back on the tree. That was the last time Castiel ever attempted eating. Despite the fact he loved pie (like Dean), he would never again eat apples. Dean had been sitting in the same spot for two days.

Sam was forcing food down his throat and Dean wouldn't sleep. Castiel wondered why Dean was so destined to make it up. What had happen to Gabriel wasn't anyone's fault. He didn't want to leave purgatory anyways, much like Cas himself. Later on that night after Dean and Benny had left Castiel and Gabriel found themselves sitting under a large tree.

Gabriel had told Castiel that there was nothing on earth for him anymore. His girlfriend was dead, his dog was murdered, and he had no place to go. That broke Castiel's heart, he was about to tell Gabriel he could always come to him, but Naomi's angels had come for him. Leaving Gabriel alone in the place he didn't belong once again.

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><p><em>"Come on Gabriel!" Dean screamed over the sound of the portal.<em>

_Gabriel took several more steps away from Dean. Like a scared animal he backed up against the tree. Dean looked at him with shock and sadness. He held on to Cas for dear life, wishing he could grab the other angel and bring him with._

_"I can't Dean."_

_"Please Gabriel come here, I can pull you out to!"_

_"Dean, GO!"_

_Castiel let go of Dean's arm and pushed him through the portal, and it closed with a vacuum sound. Gabriel slid down the base of the tree, and Castiel leaned against the other side._

_"Why wouldn't you let him save you?"_

_"I have nothing left to live for Cas… Hershey's dead, the only living thing that ever loved me. Kali, she hates me; and she's dead. Heaven, screw Heaven there just brainwashed idiots."_

_Castiel sat by his brother and stared up at the cloud covered sky_. _A bright blinding light came, and when Gabriel looked up again, Castiel was gone._


	4. Chapter 4: Our Shattered Grace and Glass

**A/N- oh my gods, I have no idea where I'm going with this story or when it will end. I'll warn you right now im on a flashback frenzy.**

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><p>Gabriel awoke again two days later. Dawn was casting a pink and orange light over the white covers of Castiel's bed. Gabriel noted his younger brother lying beside him, curled up on himself with his trench coat laid over him. Gabriel turned on his side ready to get up. The pain shot through him, and he let out a puppy-like whimper.<p>

Castiel heard his brothers distress and jumped up; his trench coat spilling to the ground. He rushed to the other side of the bed. Gabriel smiled nervously; Castiel was looking at him like he was dying. He would never forget that look. Only god himself had given Gabriel that look, and that was why he ditched Heaven.

"Hey Bro…"

"You're distressed?" Castiel tilted his head at his brother who looked officially annoyed.

"Well, I kind of maybe got stabbed and almost let myself bleed out, so yeah maybe I'm distressed." Gabriel held out his hand for Castiel to help him up.

Castiel grabbed his brothers hand pulled his arm over his shoulder, he showed Gabriel to the kitchen room and set him into one of the 4 kitchen chairs. Castiel knowing Gabriel; had stocked up on candy, since he wouldn't eat anything else. He placed two candy bars in front of his brother. As Gabriel held one up his mouth about to bite, the front door opened and closed with a gut wrenching slam.

"SAM! What the hell? I told you apple pie, and you got friggin' banana! Why does banana pie even exist?"

"Stop your whining Dean, you'll eat any pie."

Sam with a huff, sat down next to Gabriel. Gabriel sighed to himself before starting his sugar rush. Castiel had really domesticated himself thought Gabriel has he watched his brother cook breakfast. Dean with frown sat down and fumbled with the lid to the pie. Sam looked up from the table and at Gabriel.

"Gabriel?"

"Who else Sasquatch?"

"Even injured, your annoying." Dean growled.

"Dean, be nice." Castiel snapped.

"Nah, Cassie, it's fine."

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><p><em>Castiel woke up sweating and his mind racing from the horrible nightmare. Being a young angel yes he did need sleep. The leviathans were trying to kill him again. He shuddered. He got up from his bed and traveled towards Gabriel's slice of heaven; he shared with Zachariah, Lucifer, and Michael.<em>

_The older archangels Zach, Lucifer, and Mike were conversing at the golden table of their heaven. He tip toed down the hall way to a large silver double door labeled "The Archangel Gabriel". He sighed and pushed the doors open with a loud creak. Gabriel was leaning against the headboard of his unneeded bed, reading. He looked up at little Castiel._

_His black hair was tossed around, Gabriel always told him to comb it, but he always refused. Cas' dark blue eyes were filled with fear. Gabriel set the book on his left side, and motioned Castiel to him. The young angel struggled up the other side of the bed, and made his way into Gabriel's arms._

_"Cassie, what's wrong?" He asked with concern in his voice._

_"Dad sent leviathans to kill me." The fledgling whimpered._

_"Oh Castiel, your brain thinks too much. Father isn't around and definitely wouldn't let those things hurt you!" He expressed._

**_Oh how wrong Gabriel had been._**

_Castiel shuffled closer to Gabriel. Eventually Castiel fell asleep, and Gabriel continued reading 'The Winchester Gospel: Lazarus Rising' "I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition." How grown and strong Castiel would become. _

_His little afraid Castiel._

* * *

><p>Gabriel shuddered, he was glad the other archangels were dead or missing, or they'd be after him. The finished off the second candy bar with a belch and got up, using the table to stable himself; but in the process knocked over a glass. It broke with clink and mini explosion of glass.<p>

The perfect metaphor for his life; the supposedly perfect glass, with one touch shattering into millions of pieces, and not every piece gets found, and rarely you can put in back together. So that's what Gabriel compared himself to, a shattered milk glass. Castiel watched Gabriel stare at the glass with intensity.

He'd saw the look on his older brother all the time. He was thinking. Castiel remembered it from the day he choose to disappear from heaven. He remembered everything about the day; the screaming, yelling, lies; Lucifer and Gabriel at each other's throats.

Gabriel was confused when he saw the fear in Castiel's eyes. He quickly changed his expression. Which for some reason always changed Castiel's? He made sure Castiel was looking at him before his next line.

"I'll clean it up." He stated.

"No, it's fine it's just a broken glass." Castiel knelt down and began picking up pieces of glass.

"Thanks." Stated Gabriel before he made his way to the living room and laid out across the couch.

Dean, who sitting on the couch was extremely annoyed when Gabriel put his head in his lap; he just let it happened, too lazy, and to interested in the show he was watching. Dean was even more confused when the former angel's breath went shallow and he fell asleep.

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><p><em>Sunday dinner; Gabriel and the other Archangels had gathered around the great table. The rest of the table was full with the other angels who bothered to show up. He was glad Castiel was off doing his own thing. Despite the arguments they had at the dinner table this was by far the worst. Lucifer was already complaining about Fathers new creation, humans.<em>

_"How dare father, make us second their nothing but walking souls!" Lucifer shouted._

_Gabriel had, had enough of his older brothers complaining. He slammed his plate to the floor and rose from his seat facing Lucifer. Everyone at the table went silent. Lucifer was steaming with anger._

_"Gabriel! That is no way to eat at a ta-" He was stopped by Gabriel._

_"Shut up. I'm sick of your daddy problems!"_

_"HOW DARE YOU! I'm older you listen to me!" Lucifer bellowed._

_"I'm 20 million years old, I could care less about your stupid age, you child!" Gabriel was fuming, nostrils flaring._

_Lucifer's hand connected with Gabriel's jaw, sending him flying against the wall. The startled archangel ran from the room. Lucifer was too angry to see the mistake he had just made. He watched his brother stomp from the room. _

_Gabriel was done with heaven; he was now watching earth waiting for a vessel to take. Castiel was then in the room standing over his brother with a comforting hand on his shoulder._

_"What's going on Gabriel? I just watched Lucifer fall?!" Castiel asked._

_"I'm leaving Brother."_

_"Why, Brother?"_

_"Father is upset with me. I have sinned."_

_"Brother, please."_

_But Castiel was too late Gabriel had vanished from heaven; all that was left was his horn._


	5. Chapter 5: We all have our demons

**A/N- time for a emotional breakdown from Gabriel. I honestly found it hard to write this, considering, (like Dean) Gabriel's always been the stronger and a person who normally buried their feelings but this should be interesting.**

**Disclaimer- i do not own.**

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><p>Gabriel woke up lying in a puddle of his own warm sweat. He was nauseous and dizzy from the returning dream. Being trampled and killed by Vampires; the same dream each time seeming more real. He untangled himself from the covers and made his way towards the bathroom; kneeling before the toilet. It was too much to think about.<p>

He laid his head on his arm, outstretched over the toilet seat. He took a few deep breaths. He was on the verge of falling back asleep when he felt Dean's hand on his shoulder. He shot up, and tried standing up... Only too fall back to his knees.

"Gabriel, what the hell happened?" Dean asked irritated, but he was actually concerned.

"Nothing Dean-o, just too much wine and candy," Gabriel leaned on the wall, to keep his balance. "You don't even drink."

"I do now."

Dean knew that Gabriel and Dean had one thing in common. Feelings were definitely not their things to share. He figured eventually Sammy would figure out Gabriel's stress, and bother him about talking; like he always did with Dean. Gabriel was leaning himself up by the wall, trying to appear stronger then he was.

Dean headed back to Cas' living room and plopped down on the couch. He had to admit he was A little worried for the fallen angel. For the week that they had all been cramped up in Castiel's cabin; he never saw Gabriel eat nor sleep. He developed new habits such as heavy drinking, which was odd. Being worried he figured he could take everyone back to what he liked to call "the bat cave". The space was needed plus they left Kevin alone, and he'd be worried.

Gabriel wandered back into Castiel's room. He stood in the doorway. Cas was curled up with his angel blade in one hand and his trench coat held by the other. Gabriel snickered to himself before sitting against the headboard with a book.

Sleep was the last thing on his mind. Cas was getting worried and he knew it. Cas got concerned when he stopped eating 3 days ago. If Gabriel was still an Archangel then Cassie would have never bat an eye, but because of watching Sam and Dean he knew this was a sure sign of what humanity called grief.

Gabriel needed help but being the stubborn person he was, Castiel was just gonna have to wait until the last minutes when Gabriel could do _nothing_ else but except his help.

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><p><em>Castiel stood before Michael. He welded the blade of The Archangel Gabriel. Who everyone presumed was killed by Lucifer after his cast out. A few days earlier his blade was found in his room laid upon the right pillow of his bed.<em>

_Castiel was confused and had never felt more alone. He loved his brother, and was destroyed to hear of his death. Castiel was 5 million years old; he couldn't rely on the comfort of Gabriel anymore. Without Gabriel he felt there was nothing to tie him to his complicated family tree._

_"Are you sure he's gone?" Michael noted the sadness in Castiel's voice._

_"Yes brother, I do believe Gabriel has passed into the afterlife."_

_Little did lonely afraid Castiel know that Gabriel was downstairs eating candy thinking the same thing?_

* * *

><p>The sun peaked through the sky blue curtains. Gabriel was oddly saddened to see Castiel replaced with a piece of paper. He reached over and pulled the note closer.<p>

_'Gabriel,_

_Sam and I are hunting a werewolf in Connecticut. Be back soon'_

He laughed at Castiel's terrible hand writing he wasn't one for penmanship. He eased himself into a sitting position. God he felt hungry, but he couldn't find the appetite to eat. He walked into the hallway when he heard an obviously supposed to be private conversation.

"I don't know! I can't hide this from Sam forever."

"Dean, Dean, Dean. Even as an unholy creature you still care about your brother." _Crowley._

"Damnit Fergus, he's my brother it doesn't matter what I am, he comes first."

Gabriel was more shocked then he probably should have been. He knew eventually one of them Winchesters would end up a demon, but he always figured it be Sasquatch. He waited five minutes after Crowley had disappeared to greet Dean.

"Hungry?" Dean asked the fallen archangel.

"No thank you Christo."

Dean's face lost all color before his beautiful light green eyes, flashed into a black, darker than space. Dean tried to look away quickly but Gabriel grabbed his shoulder and turned him towards himself.

"God, Dean..." Gabriel didn't hide his worry with his sarcastic personality.

"I can explain."

"Then explain."

Gabriel pushed Dean into a chair and sat across from him. Then Dean began his never ending tale. He was exploring the bunker when he came across The First Blade. Without thinking he mindlessly picked it up a Mark appearing on his wrist. Two months later soon, finding out that it led to him being a minion of Lucifer.

Gabriel was caught off guard after a few moments of silence when Dean took advantage of his weakened state and flew him against the wall. Pain erupted through his back. Dean was smiling, a smile that Lucifer had given to Gabriel when he was murdered.

"Your so useless aren't you Gabriel. Such perfect acting on my part, pretending that I cared you'd make it out alive. You're broken Gabriel. Why do you even try anymore?"

Gabriel whimpered in pain, and hurt. If could reply it go something along the lines of "because my brother needs Me." or "because I have to clean up your messes."

He wanted Castiel to come put his soft hand on his shoulder and tell him everything would be ok. He was almost sure he was about to die in the hands of Dean Winchester. He closed his eyes wishing all his pain would go away.

"I'm not gonna kill ya' you idiot. But I will if you tell a soul this conversation happened." Dean growled before releasing Gabriel. With a loud snap Dean disappeared; leaving the man gasping for air.

He couldn't do it anymore. He'd lost himself weeks ago, long before his return. So he sat down at the table, with liquor and a book. By the time he finished his book and drank 4 other bottles of liquor he heard the door click shut. Normally being the paranoid person he was. He would look up and check to see who it was.

He could care less if he died that second. He was living with guilt and shame; he didn't know how the Winchester boys did this. Gabriel wasn't as strong as he thought he was, and he was falling into an endless pit of thoughts and horrors. He downed his drink and tossed it in the trash before Castiel could see.

"Gabriel, enjoying your read?"

"I can definitely tell you Cassie this Gandalf character is quite the trickster." Gabriel smiled half-heartily.

"Where's Dean?" Sam was concerned for his brother.

Gabriel went wide eyed. "He ran off for the bar, probably in some girl's bed."

Castiel knowing his brothers reaction to hearing the name was worried. Gabriel's eyes widened in fear and he quickly glanced around. Sam and Castiel were not fooled. Gabriel's voice was slurred, and he drank himself to the moon. Dean had done something to his angel and Sam didn't like it.

"I'm gonna freakin' kick him into the right reality." Sam threatened.

"Have fun with that sasquatch." Sam stiffened at his stiff and lifeless voice; losing its usual excited tone.

"What did he do to you."

"Nothin'"

"That's crap, your shaking like a Chihuahua."

"Give me your arm." Castiel demanded.

"What?"

"You heard me, Brother."

Gabriel reached out a shaky hand. Castiel held his arm by the elbow and the wrist; examining it. Many blood vessels were visible because of the glowing red light. Castiel cursed under his breath.

"Brother what happened?"

"Cas-"

"This is not a matter to be ignored."

"Cassie, it's not something I'd like to talk about."

"Come on we're going to the bunker."


	6. Chapter 6: Who are you, Castiel?

**A/N- there's nothing more to say. I literally am just messing with season 7-8-9's plots. So yeah Dean's a demon, and not because he wanted to kill Metatron. Originally I was gonna pick Sam to screw up something, but then I was like "it's always Sam." Anyhow- now for chapter...6 right?**

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><p>Castiel's brown rusty car pulled up in front of the very guarded bunker. He hadn't seen the impala anywhere so he figured it was safe...<em>for now<em>. Gabriel had fallen asleep at some point and was spread out across the seat in the back. Gabriel despite being asleep was trapped in another trip down memory lane.

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><p><em>The young archangel was walking down the silver, golden corridor of his house. He froze when he came across Michael who held a bundle in his hands. Michael looked down lovingly, his eyes filled with excitement. Without looking up he motioned Gabriel towards him. He took careful steps towards his brother.<em>

_"Father created him today." Michael explained._

_"His name, brother?" Gabriel asked._

_"I must say he has such a one-of-a-kind name. It's Castiel."_

_Michael handed the bundle to Gabriel. Castiel's grace was a beautiful light blue. Nothing Gabriel had seen. The new angel's wings were black with streaks of deep blue at the tips. Castiel was something different. Gabriel kind of hoped he was different. He wasn't sure what it was, but he whispered a promise into his new brother's ear._

_"Hello Castiel; I'm Gabriel; your brother and I will always love and protect you."_

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><p>Gabriel awoke when Castiel was shaking him awake. He swatted his brother's hands away before crawling out of the car. Sam unlocked the front doors and walked in. He gasps when Kevin poured a bucket right over his head; <em>holy water.<em>

He almost dumped more on Gabriel when he dropped his angel blade from his pocket. Kevin backed up knowing even fallen angels were not fun to mess with. Castiel shook his head at Kevin before heading towards the 'dungeon' where they had the King of Hell in chains. Gabriel gracefully (no pun intended) sat at one of the chairs among the large meeting table.

Sam gave him a warning look. _You're in my spot._Gabriel shrugged and put his feet up. Which earned another one of Sam's infamous bitch faces. Castiel bounded down the hallway, his trench coat flying behind him. He slammed the door behind himself making sure to warn Crowley of his presence. The demon looked up, and smiled. Castiel was very tempted to bring harm to the unholy creature. Crowley saw the look of helplessness on the former angel, and his expression softened.

"Ah, "the fallen one" what can I do for you?" Crowley asked.

"Where's Dean, or what happened?"

Meanwhile; Gabriel was trying to figure out what Cas was doing. He looked up and Sam who was standing over him.

"What's Cassie doing?"

"Probably bothering Crowley,"

"What? Crowley's here?"

"Yeah, he's chained though."

"Sam! It's a trap! Crowley was at the cabin yesterday he can't be here trapped!"

...And with that all three men were running towards the dungeon. Castiel was pacing in front of Crowley. The door opened and Sam, Kevin, and Gabriel were pulling Cas out the door. Castiel was startled when Sam closed the door leaving the former angels, and Kevin on the other side of the wall. Castiel was about to go back in when he felt a hand grab his wrist.

"Cas no!" Gabriel growled.

"Don't, just don't."

Castiel pulled away from Gabriel's grasp and stomped off towards his bedroom in the bunker; leaving Gabriel alone in the hallway. Kevin went the opposite direction as Castiel. Gabriel slid down the wall and put in head in his hands. Castiel on the other hand, was rather angry, then sad.

* * *

><p>He just couldn't figure out what was going on. He had his brother who was mentally and psychically ill. Then he had Dean, who had obviously upset Gabriel. He just wanted to know why. Cas was used to being the one who needed help, not the one who had to help. He threw a rough punch at the wall.<p>

He dropped his trench coat on the floor. He lay on his bed until he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

><p><em>The forest was littered with dead leaves, and fallen branches. It wasn't dark just lots of cloud cover. Purgatory. Cas took a few steps before a short whistle caught his attention. He looked up, to see Dean sitting on a upper branch on a tree. He was leaning against the trunk, with a evil smirk on his face.<em>

"_Hey Cas!" Dean greeted._

"_How are you in my dream?"_

"_There's a lot you don't know about me Cas." Dean hopped from the tree landing in front of Castiel. "Who are you Castiel?" Castiel was confused, he was an angel of the lo- never mind._

"_What kind of question is that?"_

"_Think about it Cas… haven't you always wondered? What is little afraid Castiel's place in life?"_

_Castiel was about to launch at Dean. The Demon's eyes went black, and Cas backed up. "You're not Dean."_

"_Oh Cas, I'm still your best friend. I'm not possessed. I'm still just Dean."_

"_Stay away from me."_

_Castiel was shaking with fear. Dean was a demon._

Castiel awoke with a jolt, it was dark out now. He thought dreams were safe. He couldn't take it anymore. He made it out of the Apocalypse, his war with Raphael, releasing the souls from purgatory, hallucinating Lucifer, and putting the Leviathans back in purgatory, getting out of purgatory, even killing Metatron. All through it he didn't break, with the exception of Lucifer in his mind.

Gabriel stood outside of Castiel's room. He could hear his younger brother's sobs. It tore at Gabriel's heart. He was tempted run in and hold his brother in a hug. Gabriel made up his mind, and knocked lightly on the aged wood. When no reply came, but more sobs. He opened the door slowly.

"Cas?" Gabriel sat next to his brother.

Castiel was curled up on himself, shaking with fear. Gabriel ran his hand through his brother's soft dark hair. Castiel shuffled towards his older brother. He sat up and clung to his brother, letting his tears fall onto Gabriel's shoulder, leaving wet spots on his shirt.

"What's wrong Cas?"

"W-why wouldn't you tell me b-brother? Why are you l-letting yourself suffer!"

"Oh, Cassie you're not always going to be able to save everyone."

A light went off in Castiel's head.

"_Dean. You can't save everyone, my friend… though you try_."

"I m-may not be able to save everyone, but I _will_ save you."

At this point both angels were crying in each other arms. Gabriel would never forget his promise to his younger brother.

"_I will always love and protect you."_

He whispered into his ear "Don't be afraid, Castiel." Sam stood in the doorway. He almost cried himself watching someone so powerful and strong...break. Sam knew this scene all too well, and it was heart-wrenching.


	7. Chapter 7: What made me and you

**A/N- This is my first ff on here. I understand I'm not the best writer, but hopefully in time I'll improve.**

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><p>"So Dean's a demon?" Kevin asked Sam.<p>

They were standing outside the bunker, their hands stuffed into the pockets of their jackets. The cold air made their breath mist as they spoke.

"Yep." Sam said while staring out at the newly risen sun.

"What do you think he's planning on doing?" Kevin was a man of questions; which was starting to drive Sam crazy.

"I don't know! He's a demon he's just gonna run around mindlessly, and terrorize fallen angels who are already hurt and afraid of everything!" Sam's voice was cold, and stiff.

"Sa-" Kevin was stopped by Sam.

"I watched them cry. Angels don't cry, Kevin! Warriors of Heaven don't Shatter, and break!"

"Sam, calm down. Just cause they were angels doesn't mean they don't have feelings." Kevin explained.

* * *

><p><em>"Gabriel!" Lucifer's outraged shout brought him from his thoughts.<em>

_"Yes, Brother?" He asked quietly._

_"Castiel has once again got mud all over our walls! He can't stay here anymore Gabriel he belongs with the other fledglings and angels who can actually take care of him!"_

_"Lucifer, He's only a few thousand years old, he can't help if he makes a few messes." Gabriel explained._

_"Discipline him, or I will, and he goes to the mother angels."_

_"Yes brother."_

_Gabriel set his horn back on his desk. He walked across the hall to where his younger brother was sobbing in his room. Gabriel put on a smile and spoke._

_"Hey, little Bro," Castiel sniffled before looking up at Gabriel._

_"I'm sorry." whimpered Castiel._

_"Don't be Sorry Cassie. You're young you didn't know better. You mustn't do it again; it upsets our Brothers and Sisters."_

_"Lucifer yelled at me… he always yells at me... He says I'm an outcast and that I don't belong here."_

_"Lucifer's just jealous because he doesn't have wings as pretty as yours."_

* * *

><p>Castiel awoke first his brother was still clinging to him so he wasn't sure he should risk waking him up by moving. He figured he would just wait since he hadn't seen Gabriel sleep in a few days.<em> "Hopefully I can get him to consume food"<em> Castiel thought. He laid there with his brother until he felt Gabriel remove his arm that was laid over Castiel.

Once he could move without waking his brother he got up and made his way to the kitchen. He began pulling out stuff to make oatmeal. He made 4 bowls. He placed them around the table, he patiently waited for others. Sam and Kevin came first. Gabriel came next. He looked horrible.

His already pale face was unusually light. The dark circles under his eyes, were more noticeable than normal. He walked slowly about to turn around when he saw food, but Castiel grabbed him arm.

"Please eat, Brother." Castiel begged Gabriel.

"Castiel please I'm not hungry."

"Brother for me-"

"Castiel! Stop it!" Gabriel's voice rose.

Kevin and Sam looked up from their food startled by Gabriel's outburst. The former archangel headed back towards his room. Castiel sighed deeply before walking away. Sam was pissed. He had a demon brother, and two mentally unstable human angels to care for. Since he didn't feel like dealing with Dean he could at least try with Gabriel. He grabbed a pack of skittles from the counter.

He put his bowl in the sink, and walked down the corridor. He came upon the room he had assigned the fallen angel. He opened the door; Gabriel was sitting in a recliner in the corner of the room. He had an irritated but saddened look on his face.

"Haven't you heard of knocking?" Gabriel snarled.

"Yes. Gabriel...when was the last time you ate or willingly slept?" Sam asked.

"Last night." He stated.

"You're making yourself sick. Do you really want to do that to Cas? He needs you Gabriel, he needs you more than ever... And you need him more than ever. So please eat these, and drink something without alcohol in it. I know you're new to being human, and probably don't even know what hunger feels like…just eat these." Sam held out the skittles like a peace offering.

Gabriel thought about it. Sam was right he really couldn't figure out which of the feelings he had was hunger. He took the bag from Sam. Hopefully he could figure it out soon, or he'd be hurting not only himself, but his brother who so desperately needed him.

* * *

><p><em>Another boring day of watching over Heaven, he had been gone a lot lately, and didn't like the fact he had left Castiel alone with Lucifer. Since for the 3 million years Castiel had lived with the 4 archangels. Lucifer always had a grudge against Cas. Gabriel never quite understood it.<em>

_He figured it was because Castiel was so completely different. What other angel has black wings? Certainly not him or any of his brothers he knew. Castiel was so different, yet he'd never seen anything more perfect. He was so sad to know that his precious little brother wouldn't be so perfect soon._

_Thanks to Gabriel he hadn't yet been tainted by Heaven's lies and wrongs. If he hadn't talked the other archangels into letting him live with them, Castiel would already be training to do what he was created to do. Gabriel just wanted this one angel to be different, to grow up not thinking that he was a soldier._

_But his hopes were ruined when Lucifer had given away Cas' hiding spot. The young angel still lived with them but was already in the mindset of always completing orders. He hated it, the once blue and beautiful eyes they had shown love and excitement...it was gone._

_ Left with just a dull stare._

* * *

><p>Castiel was leaning against his car outside. He found himself taking on some traits from Dean. One being Dean's unbreakable love for his car. Castiel found comfort being near his car. Knowing that if danger came then he could just get in the front seat and drive far away...and not another minute passed when danger came.<p>

The impala pulled up the stretch of road. It was parked and the overly loud engine stopped, and the elder Winchester got out. He started walking towards Castiel who froze and went wide eyed. Dean smiled gently, and put a hand on his shoulder. Cas flinched from his touch, and he backed away from the demon.

"Cas?" He asked.

"Get away from me!"

"Cas, it's me Dean."

"No, not anymore; your just like all the rest." Cas growled.

"Fine,"

"BROTHER, GABRIEL! SAM!" Castiel basically screamed out for help from anyone.

He was begging god to save him from this man, this stranger who impersonated his best friend. There were millions of emotions going threw him those minutes, but truth was-

_He was afraid._

The bunker door opened with a sickening creak.

"Cas what-" Gabriel was angry.

He rushed out beside his brother, and Sam followed him out. He was saddened to see what his brother had become. His once green eyes were nothing but a grey mirror of bad choices and guilt. Sam looked over to see Gabriel flick his wrist and his precious blade falling from his sleeve with a sound like a knife being pulled out.

The silver metal held a glint from the sun almost blinding Sam. Gabriel pushed the Castiel behind him. Maybe, Gabriel was gonna die here, for some reason he was ok with that. Dean couldn't kill him though, he wouldn't kill him. Would he? Could he?

"Dean. Please remember. 3 days after I was born, that night what mom says to you?" Dean had always told Sam this story whenever he felt helpless. Maybe this time the story would help Dean.

* * *

><p><em>"Dean!" John Winchester called up the stairs for his oldest son.<em>

_Dean came running down the stairs to find his parents sitting at the table. He took a seat at the end. His mother put a hand on his, squeezing it lightly._

_"Dean, I know that you're used to being the only child. I just wanted to you to know your both really special to me. You'll both hold places in my heart that can't be replaced. Sammy, he's your only brother, and he's young so he doesn't know better, and your gonna have to help and protect him. Promise me Sweetie, you'll love and never hurt your brother."_

_"Of course mom,"_

* * *

><p>"Sammy?" Dean realized what he was about to attempt "Sammy I'm sorry."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>AN- I really hope you guys are enjoying this. It honestly took a lot to actually convince myself to start doing something with writing. Anyways I understand there's some grammical and a few spelling errors. All mistakes are mine.**


	8. Chapter 8: How I Died, and How I Lived

**A/N- yeah, deans back...well maybe not human but at least he sees what's really going on.**

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><p>"Dean..." Sam whispered as his brother grabbed him into a large hug.<p>

This left Castiel and Gabriel a little confused. Castiel was shaking with fear, and Gabriel was just the same. Both former angels terrified and raising their weapons. Dean looked over towards his angel and motioned him towards him.

"Come here Cas, I'm not gonna hurt you." Gabriel stood firmly in Castiel's way.

Castiel walked around his brother stopping in front of Dean.

"I'm not gonna hurt you." Dean invited Cas into a hug.

Castiel didn't want his hugs or apologies. It wasn't enough. A sorry and a hug couldn't repair the emotional damage they had caused each other. So he stepped back.

"Cas?" He asked.

"I'm sorry Dean."

"No Cas, this is on me. I understand what's going through your mind so I'm not gonna dwell on the fact you didn't hug me. I'm sorry, but that's never gonna be enough, and I'm even more sorry that it isn't."

Gabriel still stood off to the edge. Dean knew from when he slammed him into a wall he'd have some pretty nasty bruises on his back. So he figured he could start making it up to Cas and Gabriel by helping them.

"Gabriel, can I see your back."

"Uh, no."

"Please I know I hurt you, I'll get some ice."

Dean went back into the bunker leaving the three men in shook and freaked out. Even human Dean was never this nice, unless it was towards Sam. But even then he always had a current grudge against his younger brother.

* * *

><p><em>"Goodbye brother. Thank you." Castiel said to his elder brother.<em>

_"Cas, why are you going?"_

_"The Garrison, I've been assigned to one."_

_"Stay safe Castiel. Don't let heaven get to you." Michael smiled at Castiel. He'd always miss the young angel but he was 14 million now, he was at the age of being in heavens army._

_And with a flap of his magnificent wings Castiel was gone. Michael could sense Gabriel's discomfort. The two angels had been closer than anything he'd seen. It was heart breaking to see Gabriel so alone. The archangel stood there staring at the ground. Michael walked over and held him in a hug which Gabriel accepted. Zachariah, and Lucifer were hardly around anymore. So normally it was just Michael, Castiel, and Gabriel._

_But with Cas gone and Michael busy with humans, Gabriel was officially alone. Castiel would always come for Sunday dinner, but it was nothing compared to having him live across the hall._

* * *

><p>Gabriel had gone back to his room, dreading Dean's return. Yes his back was in pain...but that- it didn't matter anymore. The door creaked open revealing the demon with medication in his hand; the other a glass of water.<p>

"Here." Dean held out the items.

"...I don't understand." Gabriel grabbed the water and medication from Dean.

"Look, I'm still a demon, but I'm gonna protect rather than hurt you… I know you're thinking all demons are just the same. Trust me Sam and Cas keep me human."

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at that. Dean just smiled. That smile said everything. _I'm sorry that I ever hurt you. I can't believe you just forgave me when I didn't deserve it. I'll make it up to you, I swear!_

"Have a goodnight Gabriel." Dean said before closing the door behind him.

Dean was grabbed by the collar of his jacket, and held up against the wall, by a furious Castiel. His surprisingly minty breath was blowing right in Dean's face. Dean knew that with just one move Castiel would be the one held up against the wall by him. A deep growl came from Cas' throat.

"Don't you ever go near him, or I angel or not will send your ass to hell." He snarled.

"Christ, Cas calm down. I was just giving him pain medication!"

Cas released his hold on Dean's jacket, the demon fell to the floor his shoes hitting with a bang. The angered man stomped off leaving Dean in the hallway pathetically sitting against the door, Dean; the man who always claimed to be his best friend.

Yes he adored Dean, and he was a close friend. _No one_could compete with Gabriel; the archangel who gave his life for humans; humans that Castiel basically despised before.

Dean sat with Kevin at the meeting table. Kevin kept giving him strange looks. It was easy to ignore considering Dean's mind was someplace completely different.

He was thinking about Cas. He knew what it was like watching your hero fall. Dean didn't know how much Castiel meant to the archangel until that morning. Dean remembered how Gabriel had put Cas behind himself. He had held the angel blade so tight, that his knuckles had turned white.

It occurred to Dean that Gabriel would have killed him he took another step. Kevin hadn't seen what happened but Dean figured Sammy told him. Castiel came into the meeting room; he had brought Kevin another cup of coffee. He glared at Dean, and Dean just softened his expression and arched an eyebrow. The former angel stomped off and out the front door.

Dean waited a few seconds before following him. The man in the trench coat was leaning against his Car. His arms were crossed and his electric blue eyes were staring out at the seemingly never ending prairie.

"Hey, Cas." Dean greeted before sitting on the hood of the Car. The angel just grunted in response.

"Hey, feathers!" Dean said more loudly.

"What." The angel turned his head towards the demon.

"No "Hello, Dean." Crap?"

"Seriously Dean. What!"

"Jeez, I just wanted to explain something to you. I know you're angry… and you'll never forgive me. Just know, that I will never stop being sorry."

The demon hopped off the hood of the car. He turned on his heel about to walk back inside. Cas reached over and grabbed his arm before he went back in.

"Dean. I don't even know why this upsets me. Besides I've done so much worse and you always forgave me. So yes, Dean I forgive you." Castiel explained.

I smile reached Dean's lips, the first real smile in a while.

* * *

><p><em>Gabriel was lonely. He spent so much time with Castiel. He was hardly ever alone...but now that he was it was an awful feeling. He would miss holding his brother close when he had nightmares. He was gonna miss Lucifer getting angry every time Cas ran off or broke something. He didn't even have heaven anymore.<em>

_He was alone on earth. Year 2010. Apparently Lucifer escaped the cage. Cas was off running around with the Winchesters. What he thought was a beautiful romance between Kali a Hindu god and himself was no more. So he spent days watching TV, with Hershey his jack Russell terrier. That was until he got an invitation to a meeting with his other "friends"._

_So he went, saved the Winchesters from the gods. His visit on earth ended like this._

"_Brother, don't make me do this." Lucifer said sincerely._

"_No one makes us do anything." Gabriel responded._

_Lucifer giggled a little bit. "I know you think you're doing the right thing, Gabriel. But I know where you're heart truly lies." Then angel named Satan turned around and stabbed his younger brother… with Gabriel's own blade._

"_Here. Amateur hocus pocus. Don't forget, you learned all your tricks from me, little brother." He plunged the blade further and the white light shined out of his eyes._

_Lucifer stood over his younger brother as he doubled over in pain. Holding his wound. Then with a sad sting the younger archangel's wings sprouted and burn into the ground. His grand golden wings were now ash. Gabriel felt nothing after he fell to the ground. Just peace… a face was looking down upon him._

"_Forgive me, Brother." Castiel stood next to the reaper. He was deeply sad._

"_Don't worry Cassie this was fun; remind me to do it again sometime."_

"_I'll make sure our Brother gets his punishment."_

"_Don't cry, Cas. We angels hardly ever stay dead. Just keep those Winchesters close, trust me they need you."_

_Gabriel snapped just for fun, and he and the reaper were gone._


	9. Chapter 9: If life was simple

**A/N- How did everyone enjoy the season 10 premiere? anyways, this is the end. Warning: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH. Yep, i'm so angry I got this idea stuck in my head. But, enjoy the sadness. Just remember in SPN no one ever stays dead, unless its John and Mary.**

* * *

><p>A peaceful week passed, everyone seemed to be falling into a simple order of things. Gabriel was slowly coming around. Castiel was less irritable and angry. Sam and Kevin had both been off hunting. So it was just the two former angels, and Dean. Castiel and Dean were in one of the many libraries reading, of course…<p>

They had been trying to research how to fix Dean. They could always do the third trial, but it would have to be Sam, and he'd die. Dean was skimming over pages; it was just basic information about Demons. Dean threw the book at a wall, and Castiel looked up from where he was sitting at the other end of the table.

Castiel wouldn't tell Dean or Sam this… he was gonna fix Dean. Of course he had sinned but he'd confessed and stuff. So he assumed this would work. He didn't want to hurt Dean, but he knew the Winchester wouldn't go down without a fight. He moved himself in front of Dean. The elder hunter growled. The former angel clipped the handcuffs on to Dean. Of course he made sure he had the proper sigils.

"Cas, what the hell, dude?!" He yelled.

"I'm sorry, Dean."

He lifted the hunter from the chair. Dean followed without argument. That was until Cas had him tied and chained to the same chair Crowley occupied two weeks ago.

"Cas! Come on man, what are you doing?" He asked.

"It's not of import." Castiel had several syringes laid out in front of him. He picked up one and injected it into Dean's neck. The demon hissed.

"I'll be back in an hour."

The former angel left securing the door behind him. He knew what the angel was planning. He couldn't let Cas do it. He'd be fatally ill and more than likely die. Of course this went on for 4 more hours. Each time Castiel came through the door he looked worse. Each time Dean begged him to stop.

"Cas, please don't do this. I'm not evil." He pleaded.

"I rather you die human."

Dean cringed; he said the same thing about Sam all those years ago. 4 more hours past, and Cas came back. Hand dripping blood, and he was struggling to stand. Dean began calling for the one person who could stop Cas.

"GABRIEL YOU FEATHERED ASS!" Dean shouted.

It didn't take long for the former archangel to be in the doorway. He was confused, but easily placed the scene together. He saw Castiel about to place a bloody hand over Dean's mouth. He panicked slit his own hand and ran in front of his brother.

He smeared his blood on Dean's face. At this point everyone in the room was screaming. The black smoke was covering the room, and it was hard to see. When it cleared up, Castiel was horrified. His elder brother was sprawled on the floor beneath Dean. Cas crawled over to his side. His shook Gabriel's shoulder. The former archangel groaned.

"Hey Gabriel?"

The man was obviously dying, and very good masking pain. Dean's heart went out to the scene in front of him. Cas knew his brother was dying, and could only let him off with a good memory.

"Yeah," He groaned.

"Can you tell me about the day you and Michael took me in?"

"Why?"

"Because don't ever want to forget,"

"20 million years ago, god created an angel. His name was Castiel. He didn't have typical white wings. They were black, so black space couldn't compare. Michael took the angel home. He introduced him to his brothers, but I- Castiel wasn't just another angel to me. He was family. Not a lot of angels really know what that is. Cas had something no other angels had, he had hope and freedom. Just know Cas that you gonna be alright, you'll be ok. Protect these men like I protected you. I will always love and protect you- not because I have to but because I love you."

Castiel was shaking with fear and sadness. Gabriel was gripping the end of Cas' trench coat. He wasn't ready to die, he had only been alive for 2 weeks. This wasn't fair. Life just wasn't fair. He didn't regret what he did for one second. He could have just stopped Cas, and left Dean a monster. Instead he stopped Cas and made Dean human.

"I know I'm dying, but no one stays dead anymore huh."

Gabriel reached in his pocket and pulled out that random pornstache he loved so much. He put it in Cas' palm and he wrapped his fingers around it. Cas could probably laugh if it wasn't for the situation.

"Casa Erotica."

Cas smiled down at his Brothers face. Right then and there with a little snicker and a smirk on his face, Gabriel died. Castiel ran a calm hand through Gabriel's hair, tears spilling onto his face. He got up and unchained Dean. He was about he turn away when Dean grabbed him and pulled him into a deep hug.

Cas' tears spilled onto Dean's leather jacket. Cas whimpered in the arms of his best friend.

"I'm so sorry." Dean whispered.

Later on that night, Cas and Dean had wrapped his body in a blanket and set out to give him a hunters funeral. Dean spread the lighter fluid around the makeshift table. Castiel struck a match tossing it on the ground. It went up in flames. Castiel held Gabriel's rusted angel blade close. It was all he had left. Castiel wished that maybe this was a trick. But it wasn't,

The flames licked the sky; the remains of the dear trickster burning to ash. Sam walked into the bunker early morning, he knew something went wrong. No one was in anyone of the main rooms. Sam went to Dean's room. He tapped lightly on the door; with no reply he opened it.

"Dean? What the hell happened?" He asked.

The elder hunter looked up from his pistol he was currently cleaning.

"Gabriel's dead."

It hit Sam like a ton of bricks. Despite the fact Dean had taken care of Gabriel. Sam and him were definitely closer. Gabriel to Sam was Cas to Dean. Sam sunk down against the wall, with his head in his hands.

"How." It was more of a statement then a question.

"Cleansing a Demon...Cas tried to do it, but Gabriel stopped him... and did it himself."

Sam sniffled. "Sam?"

* * *

><p><strong><em>Night after "Changing Channels"<em>**

_"Hey Sasquatch!" The trickster materialized, sitting in the window._

_"Gabriel, I think that was a little too far." Sam explained._

_"You said it was too far when I killed Dean at mystery spot."_

_"Yeah well, you made him mad."_

_"Oh come on Sam, we have a good friendship right here."_

* * *

><p>During the time that Dean had gone to hell, it was always Gabriel, Ruby, and Sam. They kept each other company. Sam cried the first time Gabriel died, but he was so angry at first the grieving meant nothing.<p>

"Sam, are you ok?"

But in return Dean only received choked sobs. Last time, it was just another angel dying. Last time it was just a distant family member dying. This time- this time it was a friend who had passed. Sam gathered his strength and headed for Castiel, who he found staring at a cross.

"There's nothing special about heaven. Their just brainwashed souls created to follow orders- that'd just sad. Uh, Sam."

"Cas I'm sorry."

"Stop being sorry it was no one's fault."

_"No one stays dead anymore, huh."_

But months past, and he stayed dead. But it was ok, because Gabriel died something better then what he had made himself.

THE END

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><p><strong>AN- This fanfiction was short and didn't really have a stable plot because it was kind of more me just playing with the characters and seeing if i could catch the right personality. news flash i can't. but what to say i can't try again…**


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